'New hair-style' or how I failed in attempt to look butch

I'm sorry for neglecting my small area of fashionable  sh#t explosion aka my website is for so long, but it seems that just a flacon of Bleu de Chanel  is not enough for me to save myself from one's evel eye. You might have heard of a new Russian trend that MOI and my beloved silicon flaming superstar ( Just joking ) Sergey Zverev are promoting in our areas: him - in Moscow, me - in the pocky holes of Krasnodar. You must be living in the back of beyond Zimbabwe, if you haven't heard of Mr. Zverev. I love your new video, Sergey,  I love you, and you know it...@doublewink@
We both strongly believe that Chanel is the best apotropeic charm after golden Toras, platinum Korans, or  crosses made of some exquisite red woods or what have you. Click Next to see the picture...

But before let me whine a bit....

It's hard to believe in good luck when the whole day is just like one big trouble on your thorny path. 
Look, first,  my long - last wishful trip to Istanbul is hugely discredited now! I can't explain the details, but think that I've been let down by some bastards. 
Besides, I can't decide on which hotel to choose (my BFF must have thought that I was born a travel agent  if he had entrusted me with buying  tickets and booking a room in a hotel. But the thing is I wasn't. If only he knew how vain he is. Nevertheless, I don't want to make him think that I am hopeless).
 I need something which is not far from the airport (cause I'm arriving to  Sabiha Gokcen airport at friggin' 3:45 PM!!!! So I don't want to be sweating like a galloping horse while looking for the hotel! Can a galloping horse sweat, BTW? I have no idea...ha-ha...). I need a hotel which has a stylish interior design (preferably where rooms are made in authentic style). There must be a pool, there must be a gym and free Wi-fi. Let it not include breakfast, cause I'm not going to eat there anyway - I'm on a diet, remember?
And the room mustn't cost me a fortune! I love all cheap and chic, y'all are well aware of it.
I guess it's impossible anyway, but I don't need a sh#t when it doesn't satisfy my needs. I'd be grateful if my loyal hugely beloved readers who are based in Turkey e-mail me immediately with some ideas about the hotel links galore. Thanks. Seni çok seviyorum in advance!
Anyone from this list of 35 Turkish billionaires, wave you hand and just let me stay at one of your numerous mansions, castles, villas, or hotels for god's sake for free!!!  I won't ask for more than a fortnight. Just let me in, cause my pretty pimpled #ss deserves all inclusive, 24 hour room service, one personal slave and Fendi furs on the floor in a bathroom! Just joking, my #ss is lean and childishly pink all the way down. And I'm serious about the Fendi furs... So, identify yourself, you gorgeous bollocks, cause I love you too!

 On a different note, my only one laptop crashed yesterday morning.  So, no bradshawing till Thursday next week. It's terrible coz I've been taping this post with my little finger (It's gonna be my trademark someday, hahaha) for already 2 hours using my crusty tablet. It's a nightmare at its finest.  But tell me what else can't a loving author ( I hate the word "blogger") do for his beloved readers?
I guess there was something wrong with a driver which is responsible for Internet connection. I'm a dyed blond without make-up when it comes to IT, so don't ask me anything about the subject.
To cut a long story short, this was a really unlucky day for me.
Oh, as for the haircut, I like it. Though one of the guards in the building I work in  let fall a comment about my hairstyle tonight,  that I'd better have a "burr" or a  "High and Tight" type of hairstyle.
Busted b#tch must sh#t up his trap or spit his guts out of his dirty mouth before he dares to say me his hellos or byes next time. He hardly knows that a mere guard like him is the last person on earth whose comments I care about at all! But what do you think?
I know I look like a porn star who's only acting in gay twinks sort of adult movies. But tshhhhh! I was just trying to pay hommage to football fans who are now screaming their hearts out there in Brazil. All I had in my head was a hot butch Brazilian mucho macho footballer,  when I was explaining "what I want to get as a result"  to my hairstylist. And what's that ugly stain on my neck right on the left side? Don't worry, it's just a bad Instagram filter which you get it here and there.

Sweet dreams to all of you, my little owls. I love you!!!!!

P.S (edited 25th July 2014): That douchebag, the guard I mean, got sacked today. I don't know what to think. I told about the yesterday's incident just the way I always do, I mean that trivial gay gossip nonsense we share with each other every day, to my friend who works in the same building, she sent my words to the guard's boss and voila, the b#tch's unemployed. I didn't mean it.  Oops...
 Apart from his comments he made about my haircut ( which is more offenive than the thing I'm telling you now),  I told that when I was booking my tickets online, because I don't have an Internet connection at home, this guy came up to me and said to leave the office in 10 minutes, cause he 'had to close the entrance doors", read jerk off his miserable stick under hairy poncho or watch porn or I dunno whatev, anyway he could't do that to me, and besides, he said it in a very authoritative way which I had to accept as a given thing. Ha...nothing of the sort did come to my mind. Hardly had I known that he'd already been scolded by his boss for the same thing but the incident had repeated  with the other person. It's not my fault that he doesn't understand what his boss keeps telling him. He can't be too informal with the working staff!!!! And this must teach him a lesson. 
But I feel really upset now. What if he waits till I leave my office late at night and beats me, or even kills me! I really didn't want them fire that son of the b#tch. I'm scared...I'm really scared!!!
Nevertheless, I heard about his being sacked from the words of another friend, so I hope they'll change their mind!!!! I know my tongue doesn't serve me right, but I'm a human too, leave alone the fact that I can be a real blond from time to time. Blonds deserve a life too, no?
E-mail me and tell what you think. Maybe you've got some similar situations in your hutch to tell.
 I adore you.
I'm so happy to look at the statistics of views which only I can see using my metrics, and see that the geographical exposure of my site is so wide. I have readers in the USA, and even in China....I love you so so much I can hardly express my love with words. Spread the word and let's all camwhore for Benetton billboard together :-)

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Faithfully yours, 

Maurice Chabale


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